Staff Life

I recently told someone I worked at a school and they said, “Oh, you must talk a lot during the day!” I decided it wasn’t the moment to get into how my work at Sudbury is different from any other school setting I’ve worked in… but I think now might be the moment.

Talking a lot? I think they imagined a “conventional classroom” in which I would be talking AT students throughout the day - delivering prepared lectures on curricular material or delivering impromptu lectures on “proper behavior.”

I often think back to a moment 20 years ago, when I first started teaching in a private high school. It was a moment when a fellow teacher berated a student in the hallway. I felt all I could do was stand witness. I didn’t know how to make it stop - I was the new, young teacher and he the older, seasoned one - but I knew I couldn’t just walk away. So I stayed and approached the girl after the other teacher left to tell her I was sorry she was just yelled at and to see how she was doing. That kind of talking AT happens more than we wish to believe in many schools. I think I unconsciously vowed in that moment to never speak AT a student like that.

I delight these days in the experience of talking WITH - with my students, with their parents, and with my colleagues. I also get to do a lot of listening - and I wish that was part of what someone would assume when I tell them I work at a school. I listen to connect and learn - even if at times the world of Pokémon and coding go right over my head. I get to model learning by listening. I get to dialogue instead of lecture.

This week, one of the many times I delighted in being a Sudbury Staff member was during an advisory session with a high school-aged student. All of our students choose a Staff member to have as their “advisor,” but it’s a more formal advisory relationship with our high school students who set goals and typically arrange a meeting with their advisor 1-2 times a month. This particular student chose all three of the on campus Staff as her advisors - and I’ve always thought it was “so Sudbury” to think outside the “pick one advisor” box.

She arranged to meet with all of us together every other week. These are moments I find rich and rewarding. We, as Staff, purposefully give a lot of time and space to our students, typically letting them approach us with questions. Our relationships with students are as different as each individual but all share the common thread of mutual respect - an element I would say is one of the MOST unique aspects of a Sudbury school. Our advisory times allow for more focused conversation and often a good amount of collective brainstorming.

What does she truly delight in? What could she see herself doing in the future? What are the challenges she’s facing at present? We have the time - and take the time - to listen and question and learn together. These are moments we hope will become patterns as we hope our students will normalize problem solving, asking for help, and working together toward goals. The process here is important.

A key element to these interactions is something called “unconditional positive regard.” This acceptance and support without the need to earn such positive regard through performance is a way that we as Staff can communicate “You are enough” and we are here to walk beside you, just as you are and as you change and grow. While the phrase is often used therapeutically, we aren’t therapists, but we are able to be present and accepting in a way that is often transformative.

Many great articles have been written by Sudbury staff around the world about the various roles Staff members get to play - it’s full of daily variation while maintaining a strong foundation in respect and that unconditional positive regard. We also hold the boundaries set by the community. We administer ice packs and bandaids. We engage in the debates at School Meeting. We support the many different ideas that bubble up at school without taking them over.

In addition to advisories, meetings, bandaids, and boundaries, here are a few fun tidbits from this year since most readers don’t get to see Staff in action during a school day…

- Since the first day of school, Verena has been writing a riddle on the whiteboard by the front door. If you solve the riddle, they let you choose a treat from the riddle prize basket they made and keep in their cubby in the kitchen. Often enough a 5 or 6 year old will beat the older kids to the answer and savor their prize popcorn or biscotti. The riddle is both delight and torment most days, which is overall a delight for all.

- You can usually locate Michelle by her ready and raucous laughter. She is able to find humor and delight in just about everything. She also somehow manages to take hundreds of beautiful photos every week, mindful of the students who asked not to be photographed. She’s quick to ask, “When do you want to schedule that?” when a student proposes a new idea, helping them get the ball rolling with our shared calendar.

- You might find Verena playing soccer in the parking lot or Michelle on rollerblades alongside another student on wheels. Play is a wonderful way to connect - and important for young people to see that play need not stop as we get older!

- I myself enjoy a good cup of pretend tea in the Imagination Room - sometimes students will put pretend flies or spiders in my pretend tea to enjoy my reaction. I also enjoy eating real food alongside students in the kitchen. It’s a far cry from my days supervising a high school cafeteria… much better to sit together and discuss the merits of teriyaki seaweed without needing to be the one reminding anyone to clean up after themselves.

Years ago at a Meet and Greet, a prospective parent asked, “What do Staff do?” to which a preteen student replied, “Oh, not much.” My mother, who was present and was a real estate manger for years, called me afterward to say that a good manager makes everyone feel they’ve done it all themselves. It’s definitely a delicate balance to empower without overpowering and takes a lot of maneuvering to stay out of the spotlight. Talking with each other informally every day and at weekly Staff meetings helps us continually learn and grow in this endeavor.

We have the incredible privilege of working in a mixed-age self-directed democracy. Any of those words could scare a conventional educator but we know from experience that there is richness and freedom in the style of school we work in. We get to advise without policing, debate without grading, and participate in the real discovery and experiment that is each day.

Perhaps someday I’ll let someone know I work at a school and they’ll simply say, “Lucky you!” Because that’s the truth.